Chicago Sports Weekend (Part One)

This past weekend, I had the privilege of going to the Bulls-Wizards game Saturday night and the Bears-Vikings game on Sunday afternoon thanks to my Dad hooking up some tickets. Since the Bears could clinch the division and the Bulls were on a three game winning streak and opening up their 8-game home stand, I decided to take a running diary of both. I know this is Bill Simmons territory but I figured if they were fun to read, they might be fun to write.

As it turned out, I was correct.



***


7:33pm - My Dad and I get to our seats and begin to settle in, but not before swapping photos in front of the Jordan Statue outside the East gates. I think the reason this particular piece of civic art culture is so profound is because of what MJ accomplished in this city. Those memories that are firmly tucked into a daily subconscious of a time when June was the happiest month of the year. “MJ Soaring” personifies this.

I’m not sure why, but I’m very optimistic at this point.


7:40pm - They play a virtually Alan Parsons-free intro and have tweaked the Jumbotron graphics. Instead of the classic build up of “Sirius”, there is a deep baseline like beating hooves as we watch a stampede of bulls tear through the Wizards team bus parked outside the UC. I guess it’s okay, but it’s different. The crowd isn’t feeling it so much and I am reminded of how much I miss The Stadium.

7:48pm - Loul streaks down the left side of the court in transition, receives a laser of a half court pass from Kirk, shifts pass Arenas who is casually attempting to take the charge and scores. And One.

It’s becoming quite clear that Loul is making the leap from versatile small forward to legitimate potential All-Star and I couldn’t be happier. But he did attend Duke for a year. So I’m not sure what that means about me. I’m even a Duhon guy. Ditto Jay Williams. So there’s that too. It’s gotten to the point that if I had to root for J.J. Redick, I think I could.

:::shuddering at the thought:::

7:54pm - Four Gentlemen seated directly in front of us in the mold of “Da Super Fans” begin in on the refs. “I’ve had tree beersh and even I could see dat wasa foul,” in that lazy midwestern brogue. Meanwhile the others muse on the similarities between Etan Thomas and R.W. McQuarters braids.

I love this city.

7:58pm - The Total Cheer Academy just performed during the timeout. The act was comprised of roughly twenty 90-pound H.S. freshmen girls launching each other into the air to techno music, all twenty of them were wearing the same terrified “I hope I don’t crack my skull in front of 20,000 people” look. Say what you want about the United Center, they keep you entertained.


8:00pm - Note to self: Ben Gordon IS Vinnie Johnson


8:03pm - Watching Big Ben shoot free throws is like witnessing the painfully shy kid in junior high deliver a speech to the class. He’s uncomfortable, we’re uncomfortable for him, all concerned parties just want to get through it as painlessly as possible. (Big Ben misses the front end by a mile. Ugly Shot. Never even hints at flexing his knees at any point. Second shot is the same, but Wallace judges the carom correctly and gathers the ball much to the delight of the crowd. He feeds the ball inside to Loul who is promptly fouled and sent back to the line. At this point, Skiles subs out Big Ben and the crowd lights back up, almost as if saying, “We need you to know we love you and Jay Mariotti is a miserable human being who doesn’t speak for any of us.”)

8:04pm - Brendan Haywood and Michael Sweetney just checked in and are guarding each other. According to the program, that’s 533 pounds of man in the post. I’m guessing it’s closer to 600. It’s like watching the Nature Channel at this point.

8:07pm - Big Moment. Scottie Pippen just arrived at his seat right under the basket next to the Bulls bench. My Dad informs me that he sits there for all the home games and usually arrives halfway through the 2nd quarter like this. The crows is abuzz. What a Pimp.

The Superfans in front of us spot him, but more importantly, they spot his arm candy. She’s a stunning woman with amazing, ahem, eyes. She’s the perfect combination of Eva Longoria and Eva Mendes. She’s the Uber-Eva. Anyway, they yell LOUDLY “Nice Pull Pippen!” and “You Motorboat Scottie?”

Scottie glances over and chuckles reluctantly. Uber-Eva is either oblivious or silently seething. My Dad informs me that she is, in fact, his wife.

Once again, I love this city.

8:13pm - Nocioni slices through the lane for two of his game-high 15 points. Bulls up 36-26 with 8:54 left in the half. Now that I think of it, I think Noc is making the leap too.


8:19pm - Ty Thomas hits a nasty jump hook in the lane to put the Bulls up 16. This could get out of hand very quickly.

8:27pm - Haywood just annihilated Tyrus. Dunking it ALL OVER HIM and drawing the foul in the process. The crowd makes a collective gasp of disbelief. Haywood snarls and stalks back to the line while teammates surround him shouting and smacking him on the back of the head. All the Bulls are looking at the floor. Now, THAT was harrowing... Even Scottie is noticeably upset.



8:30pm - One of the Superfans (on his fifth beer by now) waits for a lull and yells at Antwan Jamison who is currently standing ten feet away waiting to inbounds the ball,

“Hey Jamison! You’re losing by 22!”

Jamison is noticeably unamused.

8:36pm - Halftime. 62-44 Bulls.

8:52pm - We’re back from halftime which consisted of three BMX riders going off ramps. Good times.

Noc gets the ball in the early going, drives to the hoop and is clobbered by Jamison who turns to the ref and makes a forlorn “Who me?” face. At this point, Dad yells so Twan can hear him, “Oh No! Not YOU Jamison! Of Course You Fouled Him! T Him Up!”. The Superfans bristle with delight and similar sentiments while our entire section begins humming with activity. Dad collects himself by (under his breath) reiterating the words “ridiculous” and “unbelievable”. Then he leans over for some confirmation:

“He went to UNC, right?”

I reply back in the affirmative and he gives me the “Damn Straight” look.

My Dad is the man.

9:01pm - Ben Gordon just took LITERALLY FIVE STEPS before finishing a fast break layup. I’m convinced traveling is off the books.

9:06pm - The Superfans (on their seventh beers by now) are confused about just exactly who is on the court right now for the Wizards:

“Hey Lang! WHO ARE YOU?”
“Is this the JV Squad?”
“Who’s got a program?”
“We need some back story here!”

To their defense, I was just as lost as they were. I mean, I follow the NBA and I was grasping for straws when my Dad asked me who was playing. In no particular order: Donell Taylor, James Lang, Andray Blatche, Antonio Daniels and Jarvis Hayes. If it’s not out of hand already, it shortly will be.

9:10pm - Tyrus Thomas is going to be an solid player in the NBA, especially if Greg Oden falls in our lap next summer (Thank you Isiah). Oden and Big Ben can play the “defensive stalwarts” role and hover around the basket establishing a presence while Ty is able to move around a little more using his incredible athleticism to make plays. I see him as a poor man’s Chris Bosh once his game is a little more polished. (Thomas finished the game with 9 points, 10 boards and a block in 27 minutes of action)

9:16pm - Bulls up 29 and just came out of a timeout pressing. I love Scott Skiles.

9:19pm - Sefolosha just faked a shot, drew two defenders and threaded the needle inside to Loul for two. It forced my Dad and I, in lieu of cheering, to turn to one other and make the same astonished look. We spent the next thirty seconds shaking our heads and saying WOW over and over again. My buddy Bauer and I coined the phrase “Thabo-lous” and I think it’s completely appropriate right there.

9:25pm - The 4th quarter begins in garbage time.

9:27pm - Roger Mason, Jr. Just checked in. Go Hoos. My Dad informs me that he’s giving up beer for the night. Both these events mean the game is ostensibly over.

9:39pm - An amazing sequence just happened. The Bulls just ran through 4 shot clocks on offense, working it down, missing the shot, getting the rebound, again and again... By the fourth time, the crowd simultaneously lept to their feet and started going nuts. Out of exhaustion the Wizards commited a lazy foul and sent Sefolosha to the line. This is fun.

9:40pm - When the Bulls score at least 100 points and win, every ticketholder in entitled to a free Big Mac. The game is in the bag, but I notice we’ve been stuck on 98 for about three minutes of game time. The crowd is restless. Sweetney then gets fouled, hits the front and... HITS THE SECOND!!! The crowd is going nuts. This has been going on since the Jordan days and never gets old (Of course, when MJ was around we had to score 120).

9:44pm - Note to Self: Ben Gordon IS Earl “The Goat” Manigault.

9:46pm - The “Kiss Cam” up on the Jumbotron just had a 75 year old man and an attractive blond 30-something go in for "the real thing”. The Superfans are loving it, “Way to outkick your coverage Old Man!”. My Dad is buckled over with laughter because he recognizes him as one of his good friend’s business associates. He tells me that this guy has never been married but always has a hot number on his arm. Him and Scottie are neck-and-neck for “Pimp of the Night” in my book.

9:51pm - Tyrus just jumped out of the gym and throws down a thunderous dunk with less than thirty seconds to play. Final Score: Bulls 112 - Wizards 94. Mahalo.











Part Two: The Bears Game is coming Wednesday.