Chicago Sports Weekend (Part Two)

I had the honor of attending the Bears/Vikings game this past Sunday with my Dad and great family friends Nick and Mary. As it turns out, watching an embattled quarterback for four quarters in the freezing cold with a division title on the line is a damn good way to spend your Sunday. So I kept a running diary (props to Bill Simmons) and I’m glad I did...



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11:49am - We arrive 40 minutes early to Soldier Field due to eerily light traffic. So, after we find our seats, I decide to do three laps around the mezzanine level to keep my circulation going until the game starts. I’m dressed in layers upon layers, a grey hooded sweatshirt, my Salaam jersey stretched over that, a jacket and an orange wool cap. Since people can only see the #31 in front, it doubles as a Vasher jersey.

(One thing I don’t understand is wearing a dated (as well as questionable) jersey to the game. It’s one thing to display them proudly (and ironically) out at a bar, but sporting a Rick Mirer or Bryan Cox jersey at Soldier Field in full war paint on Sunday afternoon makes me scratch my head just a little)

I return to my seats with eleven minutes to spare. I’m ready for some football.

11:59am - The National Anthem ends with three fighter jets doing a flyby as the word “Brave” is sung. Then, with the roar of the jets still ringing, that “Let’s get fired up/generic rock music” bleeds in and people begin hopping up and down, an expanse of cascading warm breath puffs. This place is ready to burst.

12:01pm - Sheed Davis fumbles the opening kick return on our 31 yard line. Minnesota recovers. So much for that.

12:04pm - The Bears defense forces the Vikings into a 4th and 18 situation and out of field goal range. Let’s try this again.

12:20pm - After a promising drive stalls for the Bears, they punt the ball away. Then Brad Johnson and Rex Grossman trade interceptions. Rexy really needs to settle down. The crowd is searching for an excuse to go absolutely nuts, but knowing Grossman is strug-a-ling, they don’t quite know what to do with all this pent-up energy. Every time the Bears get the ball, it’s like 60,000 people waiting for the other shoe to drop.

12:24pm - My Dad makes his first prediction, “This looks like it’s going to be another 9-6 game. It’s So Depressing.”

The funny thing is, I was thinking the same thing. As a Bears fan, whenever things get off to a sluggish start, that’s usually how they’re going to end. That’s the result of constantly watching Good Defense and Bad Offense paired together year after year.

12:32pm - With 2:31 left in the first quarter, this whole place shakes with noise. Everyone is on their feet as the Vikings are trying to convert on a third-and-long. Right before the snap a yellow flag comes spiraling out of the sky from the sidelines as Minnesota has been charged with their second false start penalty, virtually assuring the punt. At this point, Tank Johnson is pointing at the crowd. We are pointing back to him. My Dad, Nick and I have started barking. Things are starting to pick up.

12:39pm -
PA System: There’s A Timeout
Crowd: Where?
:::pause:::
PA System: On The Field.
Crowd: Oh.

This happens seven or eight times a game and it NEVER gets old.

12:41pm - The second quarter starts with Rex launching a bomb down the right sideline that gets caught up in the swirling wind and comes up five yards short. Interception. “Grossman Sucks!” and “Bring in Griese!” begin to roll out of the stands. I’m willing to give him until halftime.

12:43pm - The PA System has just notified us the game time temperature is 20 degrees (7 degrees windchill) with 14mph winds gusting from the SW.

The crowd erupts. More barking.

12:46pm - My Dad leans over, “Hester’s returning this”.

12:47pm - Devin Hester has just electrified the crowd with an seemingly impossible dream of a return. Running 45 yards to paydirt, he sheds tackles and bounces off hits as he wills his body into the endzone like he is dragging the stone of triumph behind him. I would tell my Dad to say that before every Hester return, but I don’t want to tinker with his odd familiarity with how the comos seem to work.

12:57pm - Ulacher gets flagged for a bogus “roughing the passer” penalty which sets up a Longwell chipshot. Bears 7, Vikings 3. There’s 8:54 left in the second quarter.

Nick, concerned with the veracity of the referee’s interpretation of the rules, posits to anyone who’ll listen, “We’re playing football here, aren’t we?”. Things have become very philosophical all of a sudden.

1:13pm - An interesting sequence of events just unfolded before us. The Vikings are forced to punt from their own endzone and everything seems right with the world. However, punter Chris Kluwe glances the kick off his foot in such a manner as to influence the ball with a certain “dying quail” quality. It travels roughly 20 yards and hits a Bears blocker who is high-tailing it down the field to assist in the return. Minnesota recovers. We are then indulged to yet another three-and-out from a listless Vikings offense. On the ensuing punt, the SAME exact thing happens. Only this time, the Bears regain possession when the ball bounces harmlessly out of bounds.

“I think this might be their new offensive strategy,” says my Dad.
“I wouldn’t rule out anything at this point,” I reply.

1:26pm - Urlacher & Co. stand tough and give us the ball back with :33 second left on our 20 yard line. Rexy kneels on it. Sadly, this play is a marked improvement over most of his others this half. Meanwhile, Nick tries to get Mary’s attention to make sure she’s not frozen solid. She jostles in her seat, looks at us and says, “I’m here”. Nick looks relieved.


1:42pm - Start of the 2nd half.

1:47pm - Tommie Harris goes down. It’s his knee and it looks season ending. The crowd is standing around like a DMV waitline. It’s awkwardly quiet and people are frantically looking around, searching for answers. Nervous energy holds sway.

1:54pm - The Vikings drive down the field with an alarming degree of ease, running the ball at the gap Tommie Harris usually fills. They settle for another Longwell chipshot to make it 7-6, Bears with 10:07 left in the 3rd quarter. The Grossman critics are now adequately drunk and I’m feeling bad vibes.

Please God, no more INTs.

1:59pm - Grossman’s first pass of the 2nd half is tipped at the line of scrimmage and intercepted by some anonymous linebacker. The Boo Birds are out and they’re swooping about at this point. As the crowd charges into “Grie-se! Grie-se!” chants, Lance Briggs steps in front of a Brad Johnson telegraph for the pick, turning the anger into euphoria. This was jarring for the Boo Birds, but I have a feeling they’ll be back.

2:02pm - Minnesota is penalized for encroachment. Mary turns to me and says, “That’s one thing Rex has going for him. The hard count.”

Needless to say, I’m extremely impressed.

2:11pm - The Vikings commit their fourth false start. They look terrible.

2:15pm - WOW. Ricky Manning, Jr. jumps a Travis Taylor route, makes the pick and runs it back. Bears 14, Vikings 6.

2:18pm - Lance Briggs storms into the backfield and causes yet another ill-conceived Brad Johnson ball that was thrown RIGHT AT Urlacher. This place is temporally insane.

2:20pm - AND JUST LIKE THAT... Ced Benson takes a 4th and 1 handoff up the right sideline for a 24 yard touchdown run. Bears are now up 15 points with 3:04 left in the 3rd quarter. It’s beginning to sink in that the Bears are clinching the NFC Norris Division in front of us. Can’t wait for the inevitable “Ugly Win” Bears commentary on EPSN Primetime.

2:21pm - Brooks Bollinger is in.

2:22pm - Brooks Bollinger is on his back.

2:24pm - Brooks Bollinger is on his back again. No seriously, this is exactly how is went down.

Vikings face another 4th and 17.

2:29pm - The fourth quarter starts. My Dad and Nick have the following exchange:

Dad: “I think there’s a Bourbon and water in my future.”
Nick: “How about a Bourbon and Bourbon?”
Dad: “Sounds even better.”

2:32pm - Bears safety the Vikings. We’re exhausted from cheering.

2:40pm -
PA System: There’s A Timeout
Crowd: Where?
:::pause:::
PA System: On The Field.
Crowd: Oh.

2:50pm - The Vikings finally get in the endzone. Bollinger is running around the field pumping his fist like MJ against the Jazz in ‘97. We’re not concerned. Six minutes are all that separate us from the playoffs.

2:53pm - The Vikings just pull off a PERFECT onsides kick. The crowd implores the D to slam the door.

Nick checks Mary again. Not frozen. Whew.

3:00pm - The Vikings are strapped with a 3rd and 12 after their fifth false start of the day. Once the ball is snapped, Adewale Ogunleye simply slides past his blocker and DRILLS Bollinger. 4th and 17 is then followed by a delay of game. 4th and 22. Another Vikings Punt.

My Dad takes out his binoculars and surmises the situation: "It seems like Bollinger is out of it... stumbling around on the sideline... might have a slight concussion..."

It's generally not a good idea show up the defense by over-celebrating your garbage time touchdown. I'm just saying.

3:10pm - PA System: Rex Grossman had 34 yards passing today.

I'll just put it this way. The crowd's reaction was too priceless for words.

3:14pm - The Bears recover a Vikings fumble with 1:12 left. Game Over. Bears 23, Vikings 13. What a ride.